Valinor
by ArcherofDarkness and Callie
Summary: A girl travels back in time to Valinor, only to discover that it really is America, Now she has to convince mr. eyebrows to let her stay.
1. Where?

Disclaimer: I own what I own, figure it out

NAH! Just kidding, I own the girl who has no name yet, the plot, and That BAD grade I got on my Algebra I test. The history of the Ring, the Elves, and all that other good stuff belongs to Peter Jackson and Tolkien, except Pippin and Merry and Frodo!

Pippin/Merry/Frodo: HEY!

Me: Yes. I own you, now Frodo can wash the dishes, Merry can mow the lawn, and Pippin can rub my smelly feet!

Hobbits: groan

And remember, rise over run, or Y over X. The two formulas of linear equations that we have gone over are: Y=mxb, and AxBy=C. So these conclude that the answer to number ten is y=4x7, which means that the y-intercept is seven, now if you'll turn your textbooks to page 450, we can observe Aristotle's version of linear equations and two graphs."

I sighed into my paper, barely listening to the droning of the dreaded Algebra teacher, watching as the two numbers stared at me from the test, six-o, basically, a sixty. I lounged back in my chair, still listening to the speeches of Mrs. Timken. I felt the smooth surface of my desk, the cold metal of the chair as I started to slide off and pulled on the metal bars against the back-rest; my mouth watered at the thought of next period, where I would be able to snack on the Snickers bar.

The lights flickered off and the class was surrounded in darkness, despite the open windows and bright sunshine. Mrs. Weiner kept droning, then, the talking stopped, my chair disappeared from underneath me, and I toppled backwards onto my rump and the soft leaves on the forest floor. My breath shook with every inhalation, here I was, in a weird world, nothing but the clothes on my back,

'Wait a second,' I told myself, 'Remember _Hatchet_? That kid had nothing and survived for months…of course, it was a book, think!' I stared at the ground, shoes! I had shoes, and my gym bag! Who knows what I could scare off with that smell.

A slow song could now be heard, it was sad, and somehow sweet, but I didn't recognize it from any cd's, old or new. A soft blue light came towards me, along with the slow chorale. The beautiful song was cut off suddenly, it echoed in the small clearing; the blue light however, spread out around me, circling. Now I could see that the lights were actually people, people who bore bows with arrows already notched.

Then the circling stopped, with all bows pointing at me, a tall man walked through a gap in the archers, he wore a dark red robe, and his eyes were filled with sadness. "Speak human, how hast thou come here?"

I could think of nothing to say, then my mind started to work, Elves were Elves, but J.R.R. Tolkien had been the one to write down their history. He spoke of the end as all of the elves departed to Valinor, the Undying Land. Where was I? In a dream? In a storybook? In the past? I could now see that all the people who surrounded me had pointed ears, smiling, I stretched out my hand for a shake, "Hey Old Elfie! Nice to meet you Elrond!"

Okay, now there's another chappie so press the button and read on!


	2. Elves have too many questions

When I awoke, my back was against a hard, stone bed. I groaned and sat up, then stretched and kicked the bed, it hurt; I spat on it and jumped on it for a few minutes before getting bored.

Anyways, there was a bed, only a bed, so I got up and tried the door, locked, but my window was wide open, and there was a trellis that ran to the ground. It was during the climb down that I realized I was in a dress.

That pissed me off. I mean, come on! I do not like to be undressed while I'm unconscious, who would?! I felt like ripping the bloody thing up but instead decided to just go and cuss out whoever had done that to me. I tried to recall a face, but was left with a blur, somehow I couldn't remember anything past talking to good old Elrond.

Because of the dress, I made quite a racket, and, by the time I got to the bottom of the trellis I was surrounded by a crowd of elves. Some of the males took hold of my arms and dragged me away to a stone courtyard to await inspection by Lord Elrond. They were all surprised that I had even thought about the window, but as my two guards talked, I could realize that, either one, I was in a storybook, or two, Tolkien had really discovered the Lord of the Rings to be a true document of the extremely distant past. Staring down at the stream that ran past the courtyard I could tell that the latter was true, here I could see the mountains of North Carolina, I recognized the distant table-rock butte that I had stared out on my last vacation here. Elves were real! Maybe there was an Elf in my class!

Tolkien wasn't a fiction writer, he found the ancient documents of Middle Earth, and had written it down, so if Elves were real, then hobbits must be real, and hobbits could vanish if they saw a human, so perhaps the mystery of hobbits was true, but then goblins, orcs, and dragons must exist, somewhere in the mountains. I could easily picture them playing cruel tricks on hikers, like causing landslides or avalanches. Shuddering at the idea, I bent down to the ravine, and saw the stern face of Lord Elrond staring at me from his reflection in the water. I straightened, and he began to speak.

"What is a human doing in Valinor? None have come since the last ship, and no humans came on any of the ships, so how did you get here? Answer me!"

I grinned but said nothing, enjoying the crimson color that his face was changing to, " Speak!" And still I stayed quiet, trying to figure out a stray word of Elvish.

Finally, I could hold it in no longer, I opened my mouth and said, "Cool it with the eyebrows Mr. Smith!"

The elves stared and Elrond slowly lowered both of his extremely strange eyebrows, I might mention that he DOES look like Hugo Weaving, and those eyebrows do scare me.

"Um, I…was doing Algebra and then I was here. Hey! How can you understand me?!"

"You speak perfect Elvish, I do not see any problem."

"I'm speaking Elvish? Weird!"

"We-erd indeed, now answer me, how did you get here?"

"Okay, I was…surfing! Yeah, I was surfing and got caught in a rip current and I ended up here! Yeah, that's what happened!"

He peered at me with a disbelieving look on his face, "Surfing?"

"Yea, I mean, it's a human thing, Elves wouldn't get it!" I pulled up my memories of 9/11 and started to cry, "But nobody believes me, I'm lost and scared and all alone!"

He looked concerned and I held back a grin, "What is your name child?"

"Kayla."

"Well Kayla, we'll get you everything you need. Come with me, I'll take you to your room."

I sniffled, "Thanks."

That night, I had a strange dream, I was riding a white horse through a dark, dank forest, and then it changed into a lush, green. A man stood in front of me, his white robe glowing against the background. I tried to speak but found my voice was completely frozen inside my throat.

"Peace," he said, and I pulled the horse to a stop, eager to hear more of his voice, the sound of a songbird whistling over a raging waterfall. He waved his hand once over me and there was suddenly a weight in my hand, I looked to see a beautiful dagger with an ivory hilt.

"My name is Eru, you have been brought here for a purpose, I cannot tell you what it is, that you shall have to figure out for yourself. Save the earth." His last words echoed in the air and seemed to be in the wind, flowing with every breeze. And before my very eyes, he faded, one minute a flowing figure, the next…nothing. I held the dagger in my hand, from it issued warmth and strength. His words still whispered in the air, "The Earth, the Earth."

I shivered, despite the warmth, and found myself back in my room, lying on my feather bed with a heap of silk blankets on top of me.

The next morning, I was allowed some men's clothes. Practically singing, I donned them and bounced out the room, wanting something full of sugar or caffeine. I told myself that there would be none, and it was then that I ran into him.

He was a handsome elf with long, brown hair, and an Elven cloak that seemed to make him blend with his surroundings. I blushed, then got control of myself, all Elves were bound to be unflawed and gorgeous. I turned down the hall and broke into a sweat, my clothes didn't seem to get wet though, just absorbed the salt without any smell. Noticing that ahead was a gathering circle, I began to run, and slammed into an Elf carrying a trey of what looked like candy.

I started gobbling down the sweets, ignoring all of the strange looks I was getting. My tongue was covered with some sort of sugar, and that was all I needed to eat some more. Finally, I felt a strong hand on my shoulder that pulled me away from the trey. Turning, I recognized the elf as the one I had seen in the hallway. He started at me with stern eyes, and then whispered in Elvish, I nearly choked when I heard his beautiful voice.

"What are you doing, that was _lembas_! That will make you extremely sick!"

"So what? I need sugar to live, it makes me alive!"

He gasped as I turned and he saw my ears, "You're a human! But…but, only elves are allowed in Valinor, how did you get here?"

Lord Elrond walked up to me before I could ask him his name, and dragged me away. "Foolish human, you just ate enough lembas for at least a grown man!"

"Eru said I was here for a reason!" I exclaimed, "He said I was here to make a difference, to save the earth! You should know when someone is telling the truth!"

"You are," he peered closely into my eyes, "But why a human? Why not an elf, or even a hobbit for that matter, even the dwarves aren't as corrupt as humans!"

I put my mouth next to his ear, " I AM NOT CORRUPT! IT'S THE ELVES WHO ARE CORRUPT YOU BIG FAT VULCAN-LIKE GARY-LOU!!!" He winced as my voice beat against his eardrums.

"Why do you say that?"

"Elves are immortal, they have more reason to find cures and live well, humans love the earth too, at least some do. Some are corrupt but I am not, I am going to save this Earth from destruction, I'm going to save all of you Elves from having to die in horrid, stinking lands of asphalt and concrete. You won't have to live in skyscrapers or houses, but you can live under the stars! That's why Eru chose ME, because I care."

He let a soft smile show through his usually stern mask, "Perhaps…"

Authors notes: About that note from Hellga, it was a dispute that is now settled.

Thanks to Armenial, I love criticism! It helps your work get better than ever! Thanks to all my reviewers, I luv u all! Now review! This chapter wasn't so good, I couldn't just erase it all, I had to re-write it without the delete button.

Now please review! All constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!


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